My Running Journey.

This blog is dedicated to just that... Not only my journey as a runner to finish my first 50k (and perhaps more races after that), but also my personal journey as I work toward this goal. It will be full of successes and struggles; my strengths as well as my weaknesses. The ups and downs, and about what I learn along the way. There will be growth. The kind that comes relatively easy and the kind that hurts. It will be about finding balance. With my family. In my training. With my schedule. It will be about making sure a good thing stays good...Possibly making it great. It will be about trial and error. Some things will work. More probably won't. But it's about getting out there; putting up a valiant fight (in running and in life), and giving your whole heart.

In the end, I hope that it will be a story of triumph... of overcoming the odds, pushing past the fear and doubt, and doing something great! But no matter what the outcome: success or failure, I hope that it is about the joy and power that comes from just taking the journey.

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A week and a half ago I made the decision to run an ultramarathon: The Noble Canyon 50k. It will be my first real race in over 6 years. But before we get to that, let's start at the beginning.

I would consider myself a runner. It makes me feel alive. I love how on easy running days I feel like my body and spirit are one. I love how on hard days it stretches and pushes me. I love how either way, at the end of the run I feel like a better person. I am a runner because I love it! Not because I am always good at it (I've had moments of greatness and deep valleys of mediocrity), not because it is always easy, and not because I am always consistent. In fact, there have been times in my life when I have gone months or even years without consistent running. Despite this and no matter how long my absence, I know that eventually I will return to it. This return has been a long time coming.

I ran all through high school, doing cross country and track. I loved everything about cross country. The miles. The terrain. The challenge. The mental battle. The obscurity. You don't run cross country if you want glory... Nobody sees the middle of the race when your brain tells you to let up, to slow down, or to give up. Nobody sees you dig deep and muscle up a hill or pass another runner. You'll run miles without a spectator or a coach. It's just you... and you decide how you run.

I ran track (did the 4 x800, the mile, and the two mile) but didn't have much love for it. Running around and around on a track, worrying about getting a inside lane, or getting boxed in, and the lack of respect for distance runners. There would be times when we would leave the track after practice with snide remarks from the jumping coach about our work ethic. After all, the jumpers were going to be there until after 6 pm and we were leaving before 4. Nevermind that we had just done 2 miles of warm up, 8-10 400 meter timed speed sprints, and 2 miles cool down in just over an hour; all while the jumpers were flirting and playing during the 9 minutes in between their turn to jump. And dare I mention that a scored finish for a distance runner wasn't as impressive as one for a sprinter or a jumper, despite their equity in bringing around a win for the team. But really, this was only a mild irritant. Track was just a means to an end...keeping me in shape and running so I would be ready for cross country.

I had glimpses of greatness. I had potential. My sophomore year, I won "The Best Sophomore Award," and I had a respectable finish at State. Things looked good and I was running strong. However, the next two years were marred by injury (tendon problems), poor coaching, and disappointment at the end of the year when the "big races" came along and I wasn't able to "hit it out of the park". Now, I can clearly see that I was way over trained (more about that later) and exhausted, but at the time, I thought I just needed to be mentally tougher. Practice after practice I gave it my all, but my race times just seemed to plateau and sometimes they got worse. I still loved the running, but I was disappointed with how things were going.

It didn't help that I had a full schedule of AP classes, was trying to keep up on private violin lessons and orchestra, be on the presidency of National Honor Society, work on Saturdays and an occasional week night, and keep up with home and church responsibilities. I was awake for practice before 5 am, where a lot of mornings we worked until exhaustion. Then I rushed to get showered and ready for school, had a day full of classes, a second practice after school, and then home for hours of studying, homework, violin practice, and if I was lucky... bed by 10. There were nights when my body was so exhausted, it was all I could do to make it up the stairs to fall into bed. By the end of my senior year, I was ready for a break.

I went down to U of A (no hate, please) to school and didn't run much that year. But towards the end of that first year, I was really missing it. I started running on my own again, and started thinking about competing again. My times at that point weren't good enough to make the University team, so the next year I came home to run cross country for the community college. Again, my love for it surfaced with a vengeance. I ran competitively that year, but during the off season I got married. My life became busier and I decided not to run with the team the following year. However, I continued on my own and just enjoyed the pleasure of running for me.

That was over six years ago, and since then my running has entailed a lot of starts and stops rather than a continuous flow. Kent and I have had 3 children. I love them all dearly. They have been and are my biggest priority. The latest, Lora, is 3 months old. She will be 7 months and 7 days exactly on the day I run Noble Canyon. (That can only be a good sign right??) The potential and speed that I once had, has long been dormant and it's more than possible that I will never be "good" again. But that really doesn't matter. Times and splits are no longer important. Now it is just about the running. My goal for Noble Canyon is to finish. To finish healthy. And for my family to be better for the experience. I have no illusions that it is going to be easy. But if I can cross the finish line under those conditions, it will be one of the greatest accomplishments of my life.